Phantom of the Opera 2, or "Love Never Dies" SUCKS. Majorly.
they ruined it
for eternity
it's so terrible
so terrible
i
i
i can't even
no
how
could
they
do
such
a
thing
(majorrrrr spoilers ahead, fyi)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Meg shoots Christine.
MEG
MEG LOVES THE PHANTOM
and she
shoots
Christine
out of jealousy.
...
...
>:(
nooooooo
no
no
no
no
no
NO
it's so terrible
i can't even finish this song
it's so terrible
i can't even describe it
I HATE ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER
he ruined
the phantom of the opera.
i can't believe it.
no way.
NO.
UGH
UGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGH.
the 'present tense' of the musical starts out with Meg and Madame Giry working at the park. meg dances and sings as a...eh...'vaudeville' singer. madame giry hid the phantom in france, smuggled him to calais, shipped him to america, and helped him buy the carnival.
they think that the phantom admires meg for her singing/dancing, so meg is encouraged. ('only for you' a song)
but the phantom is obsessed with christine still
and invites her to sing for a large amount of money
raoul is a drunken gambler who lost all his money
so he accepts the offer and they come to america with their ten year old son, gustave.
christine runs into the phantom ('mr. y') yes that's his fake name. Mr. Y. .............WHY ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
they confess their undying love for each other.
turns out everything about the first musical was A LIE.
the phantom didn't GIVE UP CHRISTINE and REDEEM himself.
NOOOOOOOOO
instead, on christine's wedding night, they had a little meeting.
YEAH. and apparently christine was the one that snuck out and found him.
Cause you know, christine just LOVED being with the phantom and wasn't repulsed/terrified by him at all.... (not that that was good, but that's how it WAS!!)
Christine also DEFINITELY wasn't in love with Raoul! And Raoul DEFINITELY wasn't a good man who truely loved Christine (UM HELLO---ALL I ASK OF YOU!?!?!?!? WHAT THE HECK ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER?!?!?!?)
so yeah.
turns out, GUSTAVE IS the PHANTOM'S SON>
ahullllllllllllllldia ndfusnvdf; sbiuva;nu;iuavdinfjsldkv,cmnbzkjfgaehrlkn
Anyway
So
Then Raoul sings this PATHETIC drunken song with jazz playing in the background called "why does she love me"
oh yeah, he's abusive too, and hits gustave.
and christine tells gustave it's just his way of showing his love.
...........................
>_>
............................
anyway
Raoul meets the phantom.
they make a deal -- if Christine sings this aria that the phantom wrote for her, then Raoul will just 'go away and disappear' <- I QUOTE. If she doesn't, then the phantom will pay off all of Raoul's gambling debts.
Well, it happens that meg and christine had already met before this---i forget when, it kinda blended together in one nightmareish black hole--- and meg doesn't like her because she found out that christine would be singing, and meg was actually the star here. she was the main singer/dancer. but christine takes top billing.
so meg performs her dumb little dance/strip number (ok...it's not a strip number but it SOUNDS LIKE IT IT"S SO STUPID it's called 'bathing beauties" and it goes "bathing beauties!---HELLO!! (said in most barbie voice you can imagine times 10,000,000) IT"S IDIOTIC
then she finds out that the phantom wasn't listening because christine was more important or some such junk.
so she goes all whiney emo and her mother sweetly helps matters by saying "EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE HAS BEEN WASTED! IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!" several times over and over again. not even lying.
christine sings her big aria while she told her son gustave to wait outside her dressing room.
raoul just 'leaves' without a fuss, you never see him again. he literally disappears
oh yeah, the phantom knows gustave is his son btw. and christine knows he knows. because he confronted her about it. which was stupid.
anyway, then the phantom and christine are IN LOVE OMGOSH but then OMGOSH gustave is MISSING and OMGOSH WHO COULD IT BEEEEEEEEE?
omgosh it's Madame GIRY!?!?!?!?
UH NO but the phantom thinks it is
so he gets all 'i'll rip her from limb to limb!" <------quote, and yes it's STUPIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
MDMME. GIRY: WHAT THE HECK I DIDN"T DO IT I KNEW IT WAS YOUR SON!
ME: DID EVERYONE BUT THE PHANTOM AND RAOUL KNOW WHOSE SON HE WAS?!?!?!?
then this random employee is like, oh, i saw meg with this little boy earlier OOPS i guess that MIGHT have been important, gee golly willikers
so they find gustave and meg
who has a gun
but not after gustave says idiotic things like "I want to go back to my mother please!" and "you're hurting me!" exact quotes
and meg goes into a giant monologue about how she sold her body to get the carnival funded and the permits issued and the good press etc. etc. etc.
SHE GOES COMPLETELY INSANE.
and phantom is like: oh give me the gun meg, give me the chance to see you clear at last, forgive me for not seeing what you've done for me bleah blah blah balhhhh you've been ignored and pushed aside and bruised and bleah bleah bleah and i can see the beauty underneath...etc....we can't all be like christine..." <--fatal and stupid mistake.
she shoots her.
mother dear please say something! <--gustave
Giry who can help? <--phantom
Where's papa? <---gustave
OH GUESS WHAT DUDE YOUR FATHERS ACTUALLY THE PHANTOM CUAZ IM A CHEATAHHHHHHH WHAT UP SUCKA <--Christine (ok sang and cheesy)
SHE's DYING but she has the breath for OPERA and singing about who is father is! And then she kisses the phantom and dramatically dies?!?!?
BUT FIRST SHE SINGS FOR LIKE THREE FREAKING MINTUES!?!?!?
the end
I HATE ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER
love,
an emotionally disturbed fan of 'phantom of the opera'
who cannot describe the utter hatred and despair and terribleness she is feeling
Monday, March 8, 2010
Terrible
Posted by lizzybethrose at 1:56 AM
Labels: Love Never Dies Sucks Terrible Flop Phantom of the Opera 2
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